I will not say that I am a huge Abbot & Costello fan. In fact, I barely know who these guys are. However, and be that as it may, at least I know who’s on first! If you too happen to know who’s on first, and what’s on second, then I do […]

“Do you mind telling me why you ran away from the operating room?” the hospital administrator asked the patient.
The patient replied, “Because the nurse said, ‘Don’t be afraid! An appendectomy is quite simple.’”
“So?…”
“So?!” exclaimed the man. “She was talking to the doctor!”

Hehe, I read this today:
If you’re “one in a million”, there are 6000 just like you.

Hehe, silly slashdot

I got this from Hil
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
- Indubitably
- Innovative
- Preliminary
- Proliferation
- Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
- Specificity
- British Constitution
- Passive-aggressive disorder
- Loquacious Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
- Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
- Nope, no […]

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?”
The father thought for a moment, then answered, “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a […]

I love House! It’s the constant cynicism and humor that just crack me up. Consider an example:
Wilson: “Open doors for her, help her with her chair…”
House: “I have been on a date.”
Wilson: “Uhh, not since disco died. … comment on her shoes, her earrings, and then move on to DHA — her dreams, […]

I thought I’d just post this little thing too… it’s amusing… to a point. Then it’s frustrating. Then it’s amusing again
(disclaimer: someone else made this, i’m ’stealing’it)

I am a pretty big Stephen Lynch fan. He is incredibly crude, but (AND!) I find him absolutely hilarious.
To make a long story short, I was watching his Live at El Rey DVD, and I heard a new song. It really tickled me pink… you know, “funny ’cause it’s true” and all that, […]

here is a joke i got from my german friend.  enjoy…
On a group of deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
Two Italian men and one Italian woman
Two French men and one French woman
Two German men and one German woman
Two Greek men and one Greek woman
Two English men and one English […]

here are a few HL Mencken quotes i saw while doing a little light reading on the crapper

“Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.”
“Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.”
“A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”
“We must […]

*********************  READ THE INGREDIENTS AND STUFF FIRST AND THEN LOOK AT
THE PHOTO…TRUST ME…DON'T LOOK AT THE PHOTO FIRST BUT LAST ***************************
CAKE INGREDIENTS
1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent
SERVING “DISHES […]

this afternoon, i was IMd by a total stranger, let's call him RandomDude.  this fellow mistook me for someone else, and after unsuccessfully trying to persuade him otherwise (ok, i didn't try too hard), i decided to play along.
this is our short conversation:
[16:44] RandomDude: hi
[16:46] RandomDude: well im gonna go play b ball c ya  […]

Yesterday, I was sitting in a bean bag chair naked, eating cheetos.  And I was flipping through the television there, and I saw Robert Tilton - he's a televangelist from Dallas, and he was staring at me.  And he said, “Are you lonely?”
“Yeah…”
He said, “Have you wasted half your life in bars, pursuing sins of […]

cute lil' bastards ;o]

meow, i’ll be honest, silly slapstick comedies hold a special place in my heart, and super troopers is definitely that. it’s silly and naughty and yet seems sweet and innocent when compared to the gratuitous nasty trend that the recent movies seem to follow (think american pie)
Ursula (talking into voice filter): “Freeze motherfucker!”
Foster: […]